Postpartum Musings: Imposter Syndrome in Motherhood
Let’s talk about something that shows up a lot in the postpartum period—but often goes unspoken: that inner critic that whispers, “I’m not doing this right. I’m not good enough.”
Here’s how I work through this with the moms I support, and what I remind myself when self-doubt and judgment creep in:
1. You’re Not Alone
It’s easy to look around—on Instagram, in mom groups, with your new mom friends—and feel like everyone else has it figured out. Spoiler: they don’t. I’ve had many conversations with new moms, seasoned moms, and even famous influencer moms who admit to experiencing the same thing: that feeling of “maybe I’m not cut out for this.” It never totally goes away. What can change over time is how you respond to it, and eventually how much it impacts you.
The difference between someone who keeps going versus someone feeling stuck because of their inner-critic is just the decision to keep going.
The goal is to choose to move forward anyway. To change the way you talk to yourself. To remind yourself that this isn’t proof you’re not enough— it’s proof you care. That’s how you go on to achieving your goals, regardless of the noise.
2. Your Brain is Overestimating the Danger
Imposter feelings feed off one core fear: that people are going to realize you’re not actually doing a good job (eg. at being a mom, leading a team, writing a newsletter etc).
But here’s what I remind my clients (and myself): most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. That mom you admire probably doubts herself too. The parent at drop-off who gave you a look? She’s probably thinking about lunch.
Our brains tend to overestimate the “risk” of being judged. You’re not under a spotlight—you’re in the middle of a human experience. Be kind to yourself.
3. Feeling Like an Imposter? That’s Growth
Here’s something I love to reframe with new moms: Imposter syndrome isn’t proof that you’re failing. It’s actually a sign you’re expanding, learning, and growing.
The inner-critic typically shows up when we’re trying something new, something that matters to us. When we step into a role we’ve never had before (like being a mom). The discomfort makes total sense.
I like to think of it as the “cost of entry” to personal growth. That uneasy feeling is your brain stretching. That tension is transformation in progress.
You don’t need to eliminate imposter syndrome—you just need to choose to keep going with it.
A helpful tool I’ve learned to use?
When you catch yourself thinking:
“I don’t know how to do this.”
“I’m not patient enough.”
“I can’t handle this.”
Add one little word: yet.
“I don’t know how to do this… yet.”
“I’m not patient enough… yet.”
“I can’t handle this… yet.”
Yet is powerful. It gives your brain room to grow. It reminds you that you’re not stuck—you’re learning.